Kain was the first of us to go beyond death. He created my brothers and I, and we in turn created the rest. With the enslavement of humans at the dawn of the empire and the establishment of power at the broken pillars, a vampiric haven of constancy was created in Nosgoth. 
          Yet even this existence of stability contained periods of intense change. This did however not take place in the external world, but inside. Already during the wars, Kain changed. After days of exhibiting a mysterious lethargy and disinterested somnolescence, he fell into a deep sleep from which he could not be roused. Semi-solid blood started oozing from his skin and it quickly hardened. Soon it covered his entire body like a solid shroud and it was behind this shell that the first transformation took place. When Kain rose from his sleep he had changed. At first, he seemed no different than before, but soon the changes that had taken place became apparent. He was more decisive, more energetic and more present. His physical strength and speed had increased, as had his hunger. His magical prowess had become greater. Wounds healed even more quickly than before. In our ongoing campaign to enslave the humans, under the leadership of Kain, we now became unstoppable. The legions, despite being much fewer in number than their human counterparts, soon swarmed the land like hungry locusts and soon the last of the human cities surrenedered to our wills.
          After some time, Rahab could not be roused from his sleep and blood started coming from his pores. He changed. Then we all changed, one by one, becoming almost as strong as our creator. We experienced several changes. Every time Kain would enter the torpor first, then one of us would follow. The periods of deep sleep changed us profoundly, carried us further and further away from our mortal origins. Even these periods of change became a constancy in our existence in the new Nosgoth.

However, the last time I changed, I could not have imagined what form it would take. Or what form I would take. In the time preceding the change, I pondered much about the wars nine hundred years ago. At that time, as now, the humans' religion was the fuel in their war against us, as well as their refuge. Several places in the land they had built fortresslike cathedrals which functioned to protect the populace against us and keep them together in their faith, barring all acceptance of our presence in Nosgoth. The faith of the humans preached the righteousness of their existence and the damned state of their enermy, the vampires. The vampires were the spawn of the devil, had been damned by God and only deserved to be shunned back to hell from whence they came. The humans' God had bestowed upon them the power to discriminate between moral and immoral acts, between good and evil. Vampires possessed no such power of discrimination, they were without conscience. They were not human and as such, were denied any and all rights of existence. Thus spake the faith of the humans and it was constantly encountered as combativeness in their lords, relentlessness in their warriors, resistance in war prisoners, fear in village inhabitants and vengefulness in their religious texts. 
          In one respect the humans were right. We, the vampires were faithless. We had no God except the desire to rule ourselves and to manifest our loyalty towards our master. Yet, since we had once been mortals, we sometimes, in private, pondered the reasons for the humans' hatred towards us, our fates and the causes that had made us into what we were. We all knew the direct reason for our being. Kain had died and been resurrected by a necromancer and he in turn had created us. But who allowed these gifts, this magic to come into the world ? Were we not in a way God's creation too ? If God had not allowed our existence, would he not have seen to it that we would never have walked the earth ? Some of us felt that our existence and our powers were so strong, they had to have been endowed us by none other than God himself and mentioned it in private conversation during the wars when the fighting was especially bitter. In addition, the humans claimed their God was moral and just, bidding the humans to view their fellow man with benevolence and respect. However, if God was moral and just, would he then not look with mercy upon anyone who tried to follow similar codes of conduct ? What about our morals, our conscience ? From where could it have originated ? If God was the spark of conscience in both human and vampire, where was the true difference between man and vampire ?
          But after the wars ended, few encountered anything but enslaved humans and saw little to their cathedral fortresses and faith and we forgot the old questions. However, with the listlessness that preceded the sleep of change, I had much time for introspection. I pondered these questions but reached no conclusion, only a gaping hole of no-knowingness that only faded with the approaching torpor. Sensing it was time to surrender to the process of change, I fed well, entered the changeing chamber with its dark walls and dimly burning braziers and let the deep sleep envelop me. 

The previous sleeps had been dreamless and empty, save for a few energetic movements in the state between sleep and wakefulness, but this time the period of change was filled with dreams of the world as it was prior to the first change, before Kain, when I was human. I remembered a field, running through it, being a child, seeing the sun as a blazing circle in the sky, feeling a warm breeze on my skin. The dreams were vague, their contents forgotten as soon as they came into being. I only knew they were peaceful and that they filled me with an intense and surprising longing for what had been but which I could not remember. It was a long time since I had not felt the hunger of the body and in the dreams of the world as it had been, the hunger had still not become present. My soul was, for the first time in centuries, at peace. The feeling of rest, of standstill, permeated my being. Time came to a halt. I was asleep for three decades. When I woke up, I had changed. 

The cocoon was wafer thin. A faint light filtered through its lacy structure. The difference of the shell at every change never ceased to amaze me. The first time it had been thick, like hardened mud and difficult to destroy. I remembered the panic of waking up inside it, the weakness of the body, the gnawing hunger, the determined yet futile attempt at breaking the thick shell which only caused more loss of energy and another failure of getting free, turning into a deepening spiral of despair. Eventually, Kain appeared and plunged a dagger through the side of the cocoon, splitting it open, releasing me from its claustrophobic interior. Having experienced the sleeping and waking enough times to become confident, I never fought the changes. But because of the unfortunate first time experience, the immediate awakening always held faint traces of fear. 
          I rose left hand and the cocoon fell apart at my touch. It turned to a thin layer of dark dust, which was easily swept aside. I looked up at the dimly lit ceiling and gently inhaled to sample the air of the room. The scent of slow burning aromatic herbs reached me, additions to the lit braziers as a focus for the returned. I sat up, feeling the movements of the body being as I remembered them. I wondered what changes this sleep had brought. In the past, some changes had been apparent immediately upon awakening, such as the alterations of the hands and feet. At other times, the changes had been more subtle, such as the light hearing. Usually, there would be one apparent change of the body accompanied by one or more subtle changes of the mind. The new powers would always require some period of adjustment, either spent revelling in the change or occasionally, mourning the loss of certain aspects of the body. But what awaited me at the waking side of the sleep this time I would never have been able to anticipate.
          Externally, two leathery pale wings folded out of my back, stretched on a frame of skinless yet sturdy bones. The wings were as broad as length between my shoulder and elbow and tapered to a narrow triangle at the tip. I gently tested the movement of the base of the bones and felt the entire frame shift with undulating movements. The wings were as mobile as my arms. Then I discovered the subtle change that the wings carried with them. The touch of moving air on the surface of the wings opened up something inside. The thirst of flight, of unencumbered movement, an heretofore unknown pull, an impulse in need of immediate satisfaction. 
          I rose from the slate on which I had been sleeping, feeling more air move along the surface of the wings, deepening the need they were causing. Cold touch of the tiles of the floor. A door with a brass latch. I slowly opened it, then started up the dark spiraling staircase that lay beyond. At each turn of the staircase was a window and through it I could see an enticing light. With each step, the need to climb higher grew stronger. I passed the door leading into the keep and the other members of my clan. It would have to wait. I ascended the staircase to the door that marked its end and opened it. My private chamber.

The familiar room was filled with the rosy light of dusk coming in through tall vertical windows and a door with clear glass set in its middle. I approached the door, opened it and walked outside onto the balcony. After the darkness of the changeing chamber, even the subdued light of the dusk was enough to sting my eyes. But the revulsion of sunlight, which had accompanied the vampiric body since the beginning, was gone. I knew the fading rays of dusk were not strong enough to harm me. The breeze was still warm from the sunny day. A faint smell of smoke was in the air. I walked up to the compact stone balustrade that edged the balcony. Then climbed it. The slight wind sang in my ears, filled my being with a want impossible to resist. I fixed my eyes on the distant mountains, feeling the space separating myself and them, and without knowing how, I was in the air. For a heartbeat I felt fear, fear of falling and hurtling crashing towards the ground. Then the wings took over. They guided my first flight, filling the longing of movement, then gently emptying this need. The desire of flight, emptying and filling in one long cycle. There was no need to think or calculate. I need only be. 
          That first flight, filled with joy and gratitude for the change, is almost enough to wipe out the memories of what followed. I was in rapture of the newly received gift. Grateful, and also proud. I knew the members of my clan would receive the same gift themselves and this would be our mark for the future. It would be my gift to the children. 

After an unknown length of time, I returned to the balustrade of the balcony. The rosy color of dusk had been replaced with the blue of evening and stars had appared on the sky. Dogen was there. As I stepped down onto the balcony, he put a blanket around my shoulders. With the ceasing of the ecstacy of flight, and the waning of the day into night, the chill of the air made itself known in my body. I welcomed the rough touch of the blanket and thanked Dogen. Then the manservant helped me inside. I sank down into the seat in the alcove by the door. I was handed a goblet. The red fluid inside still contained traces of warmth. I emptied the small vessel and felt some energy return, along with heat. I nodded at Dogen to indicate my gratefulness. 
          "Master," he asked. "Shall I gather the court ?" I shook my head. 
          "I need to rest. We will assemble tomorrow instead. However, you may notify the court that I have awoken." Dogen nodded. "And Kain," I said. "Tell him as well." Dogen nodded again, then took the empty goblet, bowed and turned. Opening the door leading downstairs, he stopped and looked at me.
          "Master," he said. 
          "Yes ?"
          "How does it feel ?" he asked. I looked at him. "To fly ?" A smile rose inside me. 
          "It feels like nothing else in this world."

Alone in my chamber, I leant back into the seat. I could feel energy slowly return to my body. Unlike other awakenings, I felt no impulse to gather the court and acquaint myself with the changes that had taken place in the domain while I slept. Instead, I felt like shielding the still fledgling marks of my change to others, to keep it secret for a while longer and enjoy the freedom it afforded in solitude. I took this need and my lack of curiosity as a part of the change that had happened in sleep. No source for amazement, but rather something to contemplate and accept. 
          I looked around at the room that had been my private chamber for more than nine centuries. Everything looked the way I remembered it; the patterned wooden ceiling, the broad bed by the wall, the darkened wall tapestries telling stories of old, tales from the time even before Kain, the copper colored rugs on the floor.
          I looked out at the fire burning at the far wall of the courtyard, opposite the main gate. A beacon in the darkness to guide travellers approaching the domain after nightfall. I was at home. Feeling the calm of being in familiar surroundings settle, I turned my attention from the world at large to my own mind. After the third change, Kain and we of the first generation had learned to feel each others' mental presence, no matter how far away from each other our physical bodies were. In the beginning this contact had been confusing and even disturbing, but once taken hold of the mind it felt comforting and assuring. A manifestation of the unity that was moving us, had moved us since the beginning of time. 
          I opened my mind for my brothers and felt their presences. Dumah, proud Dumah was there. As expected, he expressed joy at sensing my presence, discovering I had awoken. Turel greeted me warmly as well. Rahab, saying he could feel the change had been profound. Then in descending order of ease of contact, Zephon and Melchiah, the latter once more in a contest with his older brother and being emotionally distracted by it. I greeted them all with a wish to renew our stories where it had been broken off because of my sleep, my mood elevated by feeling their presences. But of Kain I could find no sensation. Surprised I searched more intently, deeper and wider. There were faint traces, but they were old, dying embers of his presence from a long time ago, perhaps from even before my going to sleep. Whatever they had been, they could not serve as sources to find my master. I wondered. Perhaps he was in a state of change himself. I would know in the morning, when the message of my awakening would be submitted to Kain. 
  
Feeling an increased presence of exhaustion in my body, I rose from the seat and approached the bed. The white covers and pillows had been untouched for decades. I parted the sheets and laid down. The weight of my own body created a soft pressure on the wings, not uncomfortable, only unfamiliar. It would not take long to get used to. I closed my eyes. Then a dream of flight started up.

"Master Raziel." Dogen's voice awoke me from dreamless sleep. I let in the waking world and turned towards the voice. The manservant was standing at the side of the bed. 
          "Dogen," I asked, "What is it ?"
          "There is a message from Lord Kain. He wants to see you at once."
          "Immediately ?" 
          "Yes, you are to meet him in the throne room as soon as you are ready. The messenger is waiting for confirmation." Kain was obviously not asleep. A night meeting in the throne room ? We usually only met there when urgent matters that touched us all had to be discussed. The last time there had been an assembly on a sudden notice in the throne room was during the wars almost nine centuries ago.

I rose from the bed and saw that appropriate clothing displaying the clan sigil laid out on the chest at the foot end of the bed. I asked Dogen to tell the messenger I would be in the throne room as fast as possible, then thanked him. Dogen bowed, then exited. 
          As I entered the hallway to walk to the stables, Dogen approached me. 
          "Master," he began. I stopped.
          "Yes, Dogen, what is it ?"
          "If I may be allowed the boldness," he started, "please let me suggest an advice." I looked at him. 
          "Yes, of course. You have always been my adviser, even when silent."
          "I suggest you wear a mantle on the way to the meeting with Kain, to shield your gift against unfriendly eyes." At this, a small sensation of unease rose in me. 
          "And whose eyes would that be ?" I asked. Dogen didn't reply, merely bowed his head and presented the dark fabric that laid folded in his hands. I knew he would not disclose anything more. Reminded of the reluctance I had felt earlier in the evening of displaying the wings to others, I took the heavy mantle and draped it around my shoulders.

By the stables, the stable hand greeted me with a reverent bow. When he rose, I saw his eyes were dark with fatigue. I hoped to be able to set off quickly so he could have some rest. 
          "Master Raziel, how has your period of change been ?" the elderly stable hand asked.
          "Very good, thank you, Lieser. And how is you and your family ?"
          "We are well and thriving under your protection, my Lord." He smiled. "I have taken the freedom of readying the fastest of the horses for you, since I heard you are in a hurry. If you prefer another steed, please let me know and I will select another." Not recognizing the animal he presented, but trusting Lieser's choice, I nodded at him.
          "This one will do well, thank you." Lieser smiled again and bowed.

          "Master ! How it is good to see you again." I turned. Phaidos, my second in command was standing behind me, twohander hanging at his side. 
          "Phaidos !" I exclaimed, taking two quick steps towards him and embracing him for a moment. "It is good to see you. I take it from your countenance you have fared well since last we parted." Phaidos nodded and smiled. 
          "I cannot complain. The domain prospers and almost takes care of itself these days. And you, Master Raziel. You look fit after a long period of sleep." I nodded and smiled.
          "I am well, thank you." 
          "How was the change ?"
          "Unexpected, as always. But good." Phaidos smiled at this, then his face grew darker.
          "Master," he said. "There are strange tidings about. Something may be amiss." 
          "What strange tidings ? What have you heard ?" Phaidos looked down.
          "I have heard little specific," he said. "It is more the lack of information that causes me to conclude all is not well. No one is willing to tell the reason for the sudden assembly at the throne room. The second in command are not to be present. No one knows why." The second in command ? Then Kain had not intended this to be a meeting between himself and I only, but with all the clan leaders present ? 
          "In addition," Phaidos continued, "Nevel tells me her brother received orders tonight to seal all gates leading to the Melchiahim." Phaidos looked at me.
          "The only way to tell is to be present at the meeting," I replied. "I shall inform you amply of the going ons at the assembly. If there is an external threat, the clans will reunite and destroy it. If there is an internal threat, our clan will plan accordingly and meet it with the appropriate means. Do not worry." Phaidos nodded, then looked down.
          "If you wish," I continued, "we may meet by our gate at the Sanctuary of the Clans once the meeting is through and discuss matters further. As it is now, I cannot wait for you."
          Phaidos bowed. I took hold of the horse's reins and mounted.  
          "At the Sanctuary of the Clans then," he said, looking up at me. "I shall depart at once to wait for you there until the assembly is over." I leaned out and clasped Phaidos' shoulder.
          "Once again you prove your loyalty and trustworthiness. I thank you." Phaidos nodded and bowed. I spurred the horse and then there was only the wind and the way and the sound of the steed's hooves on the hard ground.   

Beyond the gate of the Sanctuary of the Clans, I dismounted. A short walk led me to Kain's gate, holding in its center his sigil, a bat with outstretched wings. The gate was open but unguarded. Crossing the small footbridge that led into the corridor of the throne room, I met Milen, Turel's second in command. We bowed at each other and exchanged greetings. His unhurried behavior made the unease I felt in my stomach more pronounced. His presence confirmed my suspicion that the rest of the brothers were present at the meeting with the secondary clan leaders waiting to be called in afterwards. Phaidos' words that Melchiah was shutting down the gates of his domain, kept repeating themselves in my mind. Was my brother's clan barricading themselves ? Who or what was threatening them ?

Passing the last gate of the throne room, I turned left. There were two guards stationed by the open door. I nodded at them, then, steeled myself and removed the mantle from my shoulders. Then I entered the throne room. The rules of the clans demanded that the changes after a period of sleep be disclosed at the first assembly with everybody present. We held no secrets for each other. 
          Feeling the movement of air against the wings reduced the unease I had been feeling. In its place, pride rose in me. The wings marked a freedom from human and vampiric constraints my clan would soon experience by themselves. It heralded a new future. 

I walked down the causeway to the middle of the brightly lit room. At the corner of my eyes I could see Turel, Zephon and Dumah straighten their backs and stare. Kain was sitting on the throne at the far end of the room. At the circle at the throne room's center, I customarily kneeled and bowed to greet Kain and my brothers. Then I rose the wings and folded them out, enjoying the sensation of their fluid movement. 
          Kain rose from the throne and descended onto the floor with an expression of intense interest. The fine veins covering the skin of his face and chest seemed darker than I remembered. I stood and lowered the wings, meeting my creator and master's pale eyes. I could sense he was inordinately focused, concentrating not only on me, but on something beyond I could not read. He was less surprised than I had anticipated, but all the more poised to act. His focused energy made me steel myself, but I could not in the most paranoid of deliriums have anticipated what happened next. Kain approached me in silence and upon turning behind me, passed his hand across the left wing. The intense heat of his touch startled me. It was only by strength of will I did not fold the wings in. The reactions of my surroundings were inscrutable. Kain's aloofness and hostile concentration was at once disappointing and incomprehensible. I could only let myself be carried away on the waves of the events as they arose and try to act on to them as necessary. 
          Kain passed his hand once more over the surface of my wings and this time a dark impulse escaped his mind and found its way into mine: directed, controlled anger. I had seen this side of Kain during the wars, his hatred for those who chose to withhold acceptance for our presence and powers and instead trying to fight us in their blindness. His hatred for the humans who kept on insisting that they be fought and defeated. Yet I had never seen this rage directed towards any of us and had certainly never experienced it aimed at myself. I could not find the reason for such hatred. 
          Then, Kain closed his hands around my wing bones and with a quick movement, ripped them out of my back. Pain exploded inside my mind. The world disappeared in a cloud of agony. I could not see or think. The floor came up to meet me, and my own hands ineffectively strove to keep it beneath me. Attempting to hold onto consciousness and get up, I nevertheless felt the world close around me, leaving nothing but darkness.

When I regained consciousness, I was being moved. My back felt as if it was bleeding, the touch of air against the wings which previously had provided such sweet sensations, had now been exchanged for excruciating pain. 
 Strong hands were holding me and pulling me along the ground. I twisted and looked up. Dumah and Turel, those of my brothers I felt most close to. Where were they taking me ? 
          The sudden acrid smell of water, the uncomfortable touch of moist wind on my skin and the sound of a deep roar transmitted by the ground beneath us answered my question. We were high above a churning, spinning vortex of water, sucking in material from seven waterfalls, the centre of Nosgoth. The Lake of the Dead, the execution grounds. I was about to be executed ? I did not comprehend. What had been my wrongdoing ? In what way had I failed my brethren ? The wings ? But that was ridiculous. My allegiance to Kain had not changed.
          In an attempt at understanding the motivation of Kain and my brothers, I tried opening my mind to them. Nothing. There was an absolute silence. Despite my two brothers being close enough to touch me, I could not sense the presence of their minds. They were simply not there. Neither could I feel Kain. He was gone too. The isolation was complete. I had been abandoned.
          To confirm the fact, I heard my creator say:
          "Cast him in !" At that, my confused disbelief turned to terror. Dumah and Turel increased their grip on my shoulders. With my last pieces of will, I tried to wrestle out of their hands. But to no avail. I felt their strong hands heave me into the air, then I was falling, hurtling towards water's surface. I reached out to take flight, but the wings did not respond, there was nothing there that could obey the orders of my mind. I screamed upon seeing the frothing, moving face of the spinning vortex. Then the water engulfed me, wrapping itself around me. 

The water seared over the surface of my skin, burning with the intensity of fire. I clawed at the water to grab hold of something, anything that could stop the falling and the burning. But there was no getting away from the water, I plummeted through it like air. The burning sensation took hold of the body. It was like a blanket of flames and with each second it cut deeper and deeper into my flesh. Body and mind screamed in agony. I could feel the burning water eating my flesh away. It penetrated the inside of my mouth and throat, found its way into and behind my eyes, destroying everything it touched. Inside this boundless agony, my body and mind twisted and squirmed helplessly, desperate in its attempts at finding a way to escape the pain. But I was trapped. There was nothing but pain inside and out. 
          Turning away from the horror of the body towards itself, the mind encountered yet more pain. My master had reduced a millennium of service to him to nothing and ordered me to this fate of agony and shame. My brothers had forgotten all about our common origin and assisted in carrying out the execution. Had I not served them all as faithfully and loyally as I could ? Had my sacrifices for the good of the empire not been enough ?
         A sudden and intense anger directed at those who had condemned me for a crime I could not comprehend appeared, quickly growing in strength. My brothers and Kain. I had not failed them. They had betrayed me.
From the deepest recesses of my being, I began to hate them.
          With that, the torture was complete. The emotional pain of abandonement and humiliation and the rage of betrayal and hatred sublimated my mind into a cloud of impenetrable confusion and blinding madness. I could not think, I could not see. I could not exist. I ceased to be and time disappeared. An eternity passed.

Then, the pain of the physical body slowly and inexplicably receded, little by little, leaving my mind to recondense to something akin to its former state. I regained the ability to think and with it, the bitterness and anger returned with renewed strength. And a voice. At first I thought it merely a mirror of my own ruined mind. But the voice told me of things I had not been aware of. How the world was created and to what purpose. Who my master really was. Of the pillars and the true dawn of the empire. Of hunger and souls. The voice offered me revenge against Kain if I manifested his power and took back the souls that were now stalking Nosgoth as undead vampires. Souls which the voice, the Elder, regarded as his own. I had lost everything I held dear, my brothers, my clan, my home. I had only one desire, to leave the present state of agony and enter oblivion. Yet, with the Elder's offer came the lust for revenge, the growing wish to let my treacherous brethren have a taste of the pain and humiliation they had condemned me to. And with the Elder's promise that I would be allowed to leave as soon as I had freed the souls he wanted, I accepted his offer. 
           I felt myself drawn back into the physical body. There was no pain any more. I got hands and legs beneath me and stood. I looked down at myself. The water had seared away my skin. Muscle and tendons lay exposed, yet they worked as well as before. My lower jaw and throat had been burned away, but I covered that with the old clan sigil, which had followed me in the descent through hell. I was alive. A deep and heretofore unknown need was vibrating inside me in resonance with my craving for revenge; the hunger for my brothers' and Kain's souls. It was stronger than the hunger for blood had ever been, because that had been a hunger of the body. This was a hunger of the soul. I had indeed changed. Now these changes were about to make themselves felt in Nosgoth.