"BARNEY!!!!" a group of youngsters shouted. They all ran past Kain to shower Barney with big hugs.

"Look, Barney," Little Lucy said, " We have a new friend!"

"Hi there, big fella. What's your name?" Barney asked.

"I am Kain, Emperor of Nosgoth. What is this place?" was the reply. There was sheer disgust in Kain's voice, however nobody picked it up. They scarcely knew what disgust was.

"This is the school. Where we sing, dance, and have fun! Hey, kids lets all go inside for a snack. Would you like to join us, Mr. Kain?"

"I might as well. I haven't fed all evening."

"Oh goody!" Barney jumped and wiggled his feet as he heard the "good" news. Kain thought that moving them all inside was perfect. Nobody would see him feed. No witnesses, therefore no one to convict him. Barney led the children inside a building, after they sang a song. They all made a circle around Kain and were dancing in ways that appeared Satanic and ritualistic. 

As Kain tried to go through the door of the school, a young boy tried to hug him.

"I love you, Mr. Kain!" the boy said. Since Kain utterly detests children, he picked the boy up and threw him across the play yard. The little boy landed in the sandbox and immediately started crying upon impact. Kain rolled his eyes and continued into the school building. There, he found a woman sitting at a tiny table.

"Mr. Kain, you can sit next to me," Mandy said while winking at him. Reluctantly, Kain sat next to her, "I'm Mandy Edwards."

"How old are you?"

"20."

"Why are you here? I thought this place was for children?"

"Hee hee hee, I'll show you child's play if you want me too." Mandy started unbuttoning her top, "See my girlish figure? Ooooh," Mandy groaned, "I’ve never had a real big man before."

"I'll pass." Kain then ripped her head off. The kids didn't even notice. In fact Little Hannah sat beside him with her ratty teddy bear, "I wish Nana were here too. She looks like she's your age. Are you a senior citizen too?" The group then burst into a song and dance about how you should respect the elderly. Their voices were off key as usual, and the dancing this time looked like it was choreographed by a 3-year-old monkey.

"This scene from Hell must end," Kain muttered. He conjured enough magical energy to use the Blood Shower spell. Boys and girls screamed out in horror, though no one could tell the difference between the boys and girls screams. Barney was unaffected. Because he was all stuffing, he had no blood. 

"Life without blood? What a travesty!" (I think most of the readers would agree with Kain’s words.)

"Wait, cut the camera." Barney ordered. The sound of the children singing could still be heard, "And you, cut that cassette player." The singing stopped. Barney tried putting his hands on his hips (which of course he couldn’t due because he has no elbows), then unleashed his darkside, "What in the BLEEP do you BLEEPing think you're BLEE~~~~~~~~~~~~~P doing killing the damned kids like that, you stupid motheBLEEEEEEEP!" Barney was constantly trying to hit Kain with his tiny, unbendable arms, but Kain just put his hand on Barney's head and kept his arm straight. Kain couldn't help but laugh at Barney's poor display of combat. 

"Now you’re gonna get it!" Barney whipped out a Rambo bandanna and a Super Soaker XL 2000. Fully loaded. Kain’s eyes widened as he got into a fighting stance. He was very glad he’d remembered Havok and Malice. Barney fired a shot of water (although how he did without fingers is still a mystery). Kain dodged (naturally) and hid behind a table for cover. Actually, the table was so tiny, he had to use it as more of a shield. Time after time, the badass vamp dodged squirts of water from the purple idiot. Finally, after about 10 minutes, Barney ran out of ammunition. Kain finally brought out the axes.

"You’re mine!" Kain growled. He charged toward Barney with unsurpassable speed.

"Uh oh," since Barney’s brain was the size of a walnut, he didn’t have enough sense to move out of the way. Like he could have anyway.

"VAAAAAEEEE VIIIIICTUUUSS!" Kain shouted as one of the axes took Barney’s head clean off his body. Stuffing flew everywhere. It was beautiful. Like snow. He then spit on the dead body. Kain then heard the footsteps of a preteen behind him. In the doorway was the same boy who Kain threw into the sandbox.

"Damn you Kain, you are not good. This act of dinocide is unconscionable!" The little boy said. Kain didn’t want to deal with him again, so he just threw an ax at him. Needless to say, the boy ran away screaming. (For all of you concerned people out there, yes the few of you who are out there, the boy wasn’t hit with the ax.)

The camera crew was set free of the spell Barney had placed upon them. No longer were they stupefied. As Kain left that place, they cheered him on and considered him a hero. After all, he did rid the world of one of the Greatest of All Evils. They later threw a party in his honor. 

When Kain returned to the Chronoplast, he found Raziel there looking through another portal (and pink ribbons on the ground). Kain cautiously looked through the same portal. Through it was the home of the Greatest of All Evils. 

"She is the Greatest Evil, Raziel."

"Yes, I know. She must be stopped at all costs! Her perversity has plagued enough minds and slandered many of us."

"Let us call a truce, my son, and defeat her!"

"Agreed." The two shook claws and went through the portal and passed a mailbox bearing the name Alea Bondai. It is said by some that Raziel whispered before entering the house, "I’ll teach you that I don’t bang horses!" If you don’t know, don’t ask. 

And so, the Greatest of All Evils have been vanquished from all of Nosgoth and the Earth. Balance is one step closer to restoration.