It happened like this... I am Turel. All of the other LoK characters and I where at a press-conference when Raziel finally had both realization, and a nervous break-down...

(Raziel reaches for a doughnut on the conference table. Then, in a second he drops the doughnut without eating it, alarmed and his eye twitches)

Raziel: OHMYGOD OHMYGODNOOOOO!!!!!!!! (runs around the conference-room randomly repeating lines like that...)
Kain: (very calmly) Raziel, you only do that when The Elder god talks to you. Is somebody tired?
Raz: NONONOOOO!!!! Kain! (grabs Kains hair)
Why do you get to live? So many people are missing MEEEE!!!
Kain: Calm down, it is not the end of the world.
Raz: Well not YOUR WORLD! But what about MY needs, huh? All I wanted to do was talk this over a frappachino at starbucks while I ate Moe's crumpets. You know, the ones with the powdered sugar and whipped cream and nougat. What is that stuff any way? I really like it but no one ever knows what it is!
Kain: I don't understand... at all what you're trying to say...
Raz: I'm saying that since “The Dark Profet” or what ever, was canceled, are our founders going to ditch us in the middle of the series?!
Moebius:... That makes sense... Are the actors we know and love going to willingly forsake us?
Vorador: Well some of us weren't cast so much so I hope that they are added.
Turel: I concur! In the first soul reaver you only see me when I toss Raz in the lake of the dead. I'll bet you'll never realize they forgot me in that one!
Janos: What? But you got a big role in defiance, how can you not be happy about that?
Turel: Raz killed me.
Janos: You were worshiped!
Turel: I was SLAUGTERED!!!
Kain: I think we should steer clear of video games...
ALL: WHAT?!
Kain: Well there are plenty of other things out there. Anime, live action, we could even have a number of episodes... (looks at all of them) I think we'd do great as manga.
Vorador: You do realize something could go terribly wrong with that...
Kain: (ignores him) Raz could get a more... edgy hair style...
Raz: Really? You think? I want a mullet!
All: No!
Kain: And everybody could look a little softer on the eyes...
Moebius: The elder god and I could plot something to foil you! Just like old times!
Ariel: I think we need another girl character. Maybe even more.
Raz: I agree, I think there could be more villainous and heroic female characters...
Kain: But we had Umah!
Raz: You fell in love with her.
Janos: And then you killed her!
Vorador: I'm still angry about that by the way...
Kain: Sorry! I was just doing what the script said.
Raz: It said pretend to kill Umah as she died fakely.
Vorador: You need to work on that aim of yours, we're not toys.
Kain: That was my first, and only mess up! Name more if you can!
Raz: You threw me at the top of soul reaver 2 and missed my cushioned landing point. I ended up hitting one of the columns!
Janos: There was the time you broke the soul reaver's spiritual shell. (looks at Raz) we had to change the whole series for THAT permanent goof!
Kain: So, I'm accidental... It wasn't all my fault...
(All utter stuff like “yeah, I beg to differ.” or “Are you nuts?! It's entirely your fault!”)
Raz: I had to loose my skin because of one of your little “Goofs” I even lost my lower jaw because of you!
Kain: How?
Raz: Remember when you broke the sword on my back? Remember how I had to go to the ER because the wraith-sword was making all of skin on my arm peel back?(Kain cringes) The original story was that you held me in prison, till I escaped with the help of my wings! Then face you, and then you drop the soul reaver after I punched you. But NOOOOOO!!! You hit too hard and broke the Styrofoam reaver!!!
Kain: it was an accident! What I'd like to know was why a spirit of a REAL wraith-blade was in a FAKE sword made of STYROFOAM!!!!
Vorador: I do too!
Ariel: Why am I all ways portrayed as one of th really big wimps?!
(More random arguing on the subject)
Janos: For the wheel's sake!!! (Gets gun and shoots at the ceiling) Shut UP!!!! (silence) Thank you. Let's talk about something... Happy... Yes that would be nice...
Kain: Uh, we could send Eidos all of our suggestions... Like the female-character-thing we were discussing earlier... Or the manga thing...
All: Yeah!
(At the recording studio)
Simon: Good Grief! We'll never finish the series!
Michel: Has anybody seen my lap-top? I really need to check the email...
Rene: It's on the table in the hall.
Michel: Thanks Janos.
Rene: My name is Rene!
Simon: You're being to cynical...
Michel: I hate you, Kain.
Simon: Like wise. Go climb a rope and jump at the top blue-boy.
Anna: Why are we here again?
Tony: Ask Vor.
Paul: I got the message from Moe.
Richard: Aw come on! We need the qualitie-time. Like when we had all of those bloopers...
Everyone: Yeah... Good times...
Michel: What the? Guys read who this is from.
Anna: From: We who you act as?
Simon:(reads a it) It's worth a shot... Lets give it to the CEO...
Anna: He's gonna flip...
Simon: You don't know that.
Richard: Manga... That's not a half-bad idea...
Anna: We are sooooooo fired...
(at the conference)
Raz: Did they get it?
Kain: Of coarse they did!
Vor: I think you typed in the wrong Email-address... I saw you not capitalizes a few things...
Kain: Vorador, when typing an address that doesn't matter...
Moe: Yes, it does.
Kain :Look, everybody lay off the vampire that wants to kill half of the people in the room!
Moe :Why? You use paint-on plexes
Kain: (offended) I do not!
Moe: Do too.
Kain: Do not.
Moe: Do too.
Raz: They are real, I swear, now shut up! Let's go home already!!!
(They all leave except for Raz who gets the rest of the dough nuts and crumpets and stuffs them in his cowl)
Raz: No gut's, no glory, or calories!!! (laughs)