Elder God: One day in the town of Coorhagen, the ex-nobleman Kain visited his hometown for once. There he stayed, and waited till Christmas. This was a devious plan of mine for him to die. First I’ll send Raziel against him
Elder God: RAZIEL, get your butt over here now!
Raziel: Make me bitch, I’m going to Kain's Christmas party
Elder God: You got an invite and I didn't?! this is an outrage!
Raziel: Seems so, but we all hate you
Elder God: GET BACK HERE. RAZIEL I COMMAND YOU
Moebius: What now master?
Elder God: you’re to crash Kain's party
Moebius: Yes, your squidness
Elder God: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
Moebius: Yes, my elder god

In the pillars

Kain: Aww.... come on Ariel, come to my party
Ariel: you forgot, I’m bound here because of your refusal to die
Kain: Pwetty please?
Ariel: Gah all right, for one day.

Elder God: anyways, the ancient diabolical vampire, Janos Audron and Vorador were also invited. Janos had a plan to get into Kain's noble house, unawares of the door

Vorador: *comes crashing into the wall, making a big hole.*
Janos: Finally, we're here! Well Vorador, it was worth catapulting you
Kain:  there’s a door over there
Janos: O.O oh yea...
Vorador: I TOLD YOU TO…
Janos: told me to do what?
Vorador: TO USE THE DOOR
Janos: The door suddenly appeared there!
Ariel: weee, I can go and look in Kain's personal presents
Kain: You better not. My...
Raziel: *walks in* have I missed anything?
Ariel: Kain wears Y-fronts!
Kain: I do not >< those are hmm.... err.... Raziel's old clothes from when he was a Sarafan
Raziel: What trickery and lies are these?

Moebius: *phones up Kain*
Kain: Yellow, road kill cafe, you kill em we grill them
Moebius: I'm looking for hugandkiss first name Amanda
Kain: hold on a sec, Amanda Hug and Kiss! I'm looking for Amanda Hug and Kiss! Oh why can't I find  Amanda Hug and Kiss.... wait a minute!

Raziel, Ariel, Janos, Vorador all on the floor laughing
then Moebius gets a cunning plan he uses his time magic to bring Faustus, Marcus and Sebastian and make them crush Kain's party
Elder God: Excellent plan Moebius. Now why they are crushing the party we can do some plotting. Yes.... yes that’s a good plan... that’s a very good plan... I agree.... yes.... WHAT THE HELL IS THOSE 3 DOING?!
Moebius: They joined the Party
Elder God: Moebius! How could you!
Moebius: Hmm... we need another plan, elder god.

back at party

Marcus: Duude, ok, your mind says, you are a fast vampire with fast moves
Faustus: Wrong, that’s Sebastian, I'm Faustus, the one who can jump far distances and Marcus, how could you forget who we are?
Marcus: That’s funny, I swear that’s Ariel
Ariel: I’m not even a vampire o.O
Kain: CRACKHEADS!
Raziel: *busy chasing soul around in Kain's house causing havoc*
Janos: What are we going to do about Christmas tree?
Kain: I have no idea...
both Janos and Kain at the same time: Vorador!
Vorador to shocked to reply is grabbed, stood up, tied up, gagged and planted with Christmas decorations. Then they put Ariel on his head
Raziel mean while finds the Soul Reaver, in it's physical shell, he wraps it up and puts it down next to the tree, then puts loads of presents in the way
Janos: Dude Kain, this is not much of a party is it?
Sarafan Lord: *knock* open up, in the name of the Hlyden
Janos: o.o HIDE!
Kain: *opens door, and the Hlyden bring in presents and shit*

then all of them can hear a shout

Elder God: MOEBIUS, THEY NOW JOINED THE PARTY

SL (Sarafan Lord): ah yes, Kain and Janos. Forgive me, lets call a truce and have this one-day off. I brought you your favorite Kain, Hylden Cheese.
Kain: o.o put it by Vor I mean the tree

Elder God meanwhile: Yes, I know, those demons Raziel and Kain had on them... what was his name.. Hash' Ak' Gik
Moebius: We'll use him to crush the party and his followers

back at party a sudden knock on the door, this time the priestess. "So, Lord Kain, are you going to let us in or what?"
Raziel: *in kains voice* Or else
Kain: *thwaps Raz* come in
Priestess: *brings in a parcel,  quite big, dragged on string, with vampire worshippers.* this present will satisfy you.
Ariel: Why, what’s so different, all the presents contain
Kain: Don't say!

Another knock on the door, this time Hash' Ak' Gik enters the room, and brings in a Christmas card and a parcel, for Kain

Moebius: I have a plan, your squidness to infiltrate Kain's house
Moebius: *whisper*
Kain: *puts on Yellow Submarine music*
All singing: We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yew -cuts off-

knock on door

Kain opens it to see Moebius the Time streamer

Moebius: Kain... I have a surprise for you *holds a present up*

Kain eyes it suspiciously, takes the present and shuts the door, leaving Moebius outside still

Moebius: Hello....? I'd like to come in... it's cold outside? Hello? Kain? I'll be your best friend?
Kain: *ignoring Moebius and putting the present near Vorador* now what...?
Raziel: Here soully soully soully! o.o soul? Where are you?
Kain:  *looks around for the soul Reaver, but cannot find It.* oh shit.. the soul Reaver is missing!
Janos: Quick! to the vampire mobile!

deadly silence

everyone looks at Janos

Janos: what? 
Kain: not to the vampire mobile...
Raziel: well someone could have used the soul Reaver to give you a certain surprise Kain
Kain: And it can only be one thing. (thought bubble) A soul Reaver with a new platinum blade, then another thought bubble with the Reaver turning everyone to cheese and eating him or her. (thought bubble ends) Yep, it can only mean one thing
Raziel: *phew*
Moebius: *puts on snowman outfit, and knocks on Kain's door*
Kain: Yellow?
Moebius: Yes, my name is Mr. Snowman... I’m so cold outside.... can I come in and have some warmth?
Elder God: No one is stupid enough to fall for that trick...
Kain: come in Mr. Snowman!
Elder God: I've just been proved wrong
Moebius is led to the fireplace, where he can warm up, but seeing Janos and Vorador puts him off slightly
Moebius: err... nice Christmas tree
Janos: yea, isn't it cool, me and Kain made it!
Ariel: *with supposedly Kain's Y-fronts on her head* WEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Kain: ARIEL! Give me my I mean Raziel's Y-fronts back!
Raziel: I don't wear horrid yucky red/green/yellow y-fronts that change color!
Janos: But Vorador does!
Vorador: HMMMM hmmm hmm HM hmmm
Janos: Yes Vorador, we know you do.
Marcus: I think he's saying that he's going to beat you into a pulp Janos
Janos: how do you know that?
Marcus: I'm a mind reader
Moebius: oh shit...
Marcus: And Mr. Snowman over there,..... I can't read his mind
Moebius: phew...
Marcus: cause he's protected by the elder god
Moebius: >< D'oh
Kain: *grabs Moebius, takes suit of and throws Moebius into the outside again, then lock the door*
Kain then looks to the rest. "Lets do the conga!"
Raziel: Hell yea!

everyone starts doing the conga, except Ariel who can't touch and Vorador cause he's tied up

Then Kain goes over to his presents, and ponders. 

Kain: shall we open my presents now or later
All: later
Raziel meanwhile wonders the house: Oh o.o pretty soul. *pokes soul, soul vanishes.* o.o;; what happened to the soul?
Kain: I have an idea!
Ariel: what?
Kain: I have an idea that’s to die for!
Janos: What
Kain: the best idea ever!
All but Kain: WHAT!!!
Kain: lets play a game!
Ariel: what game?
Kain: Twister ^^
Ariel: I know, Guess Who
Janos: hmm... I have to say Scrabble
All: yea! Scrabble!
Elder God: Why the hell scrabble?
Kain: first four players, since my party, will be me, Raz, Janos and Ariel
Kain: *looks at his 9 letters, that they say LKILKIANLAL
Raziel: Zwqytbnhg
Ariel: Impossible
Janos: whatthehel
Kain lays his down first: Kain
Raziel: zwqytbnhg
Everyone else: What’s that?!
Raziel: It’s a green tinged skin Vampire who likes cheese
Elder God: *checks dictionary*
Ariel: This is impossible...
SL: . . . your hopeless!
Ariel: I got it o.O Possible
Janos: what
Kain: that’s not allowed!
Janos: I know, Raziel cheated
Kain: no, yours
Janos: fine, lets play twister

After a while of twister, all decided Ariel is a cheater because she goes through everyone

Raziel: ok, ready steady one two three!
Kain: Polymorphic Rock!
Raziel: Paper
Kain: *rock changes to scissors*
Ariel: you can' do that you cheat
Kain: It's Polymorphic rock!
Raziel: I'll polymorph you!
When Janos entered the room, he saw everyone but Kain, on the floor was a pile of cheese
Janos: What happened o.O
Ariel: Raziel polymorphed Kain
Janos: eww...
Ariel: nah, it was funny to watch
Kain: *changes back* THAT HURT
Raziel: you said "do it"
Kain: DO IT?! your sick Raziel!
Ariel: he meant what you said
Kain: I would never say "Do it" to Raziel 
Raziel: o.O
Hash’ Ak’ Gik: So what now?
Kain: I'm going to ask Moebius something
Kain: Moebius, I’ll let you in the party on one condition
Moebius: yes?
Kain: Moebius, I’ll let you in the party on one condition
Moebius: yes?
Kain: bring my trusty general Dumah
Moebius: *brings Dumah, and then gets the door slammed in his face again* grr.... 
Dumah: Limbo? you want a game of Limbo?
Kain: yes, and since your Limbo champ, we thought we’d get you as a judge
Dumah: fine
Kain: *starts doing the limbo, the music in the background is Agado*
Raziel: *does it and bends further back than Dumah can*
Ariel: *goes through the pole*
Janos: *flies under the pole*
Kain: NO FAIR
Dumah is sent away, and Kain starts opening presents
Kain: oh... thanks Ariel, a rubby cheese ducky
Kain: Janos... nice Cheese
Kain: Vorador... how wonderful a Cheese statue of ME!
Kain: *after a while, he comes to a present wrapped up like the soul Reaver, from Raz it said*
Kain: hmm...
Raziel: open open open!
Kain: *opens it up to find the soul Reaver cheese statue, and then the soul Reaver it self.* you stole.... you did... I love you... Raziel this is the best present yet!

Then they all looked to Moebius' present
Kain looked at the opening before deciding

Kain: *opens it, and a cheese jack in the box comes out* 
Raziel: AHHHH A JACK IN THE BOX
Raziel: *runs around, sacred at the jack in the box. Not realizing it's opened yet." oh..
Kain: *turns the handle, and everyone hides for cover*
Raziel: My eyes, if they could close I would close them, now. But it turns out, this is the scariest thing ever in my life.... I knew this could mean the end of the world... surely someone must stop Kain... even
Elder God: Kill Kain?
Raziel: SHUT UP. Anyways, looking at the handle turning, my heart wizardned in terror. Then I was hit in the back of the head but Kain. God it hurt, and I can still feel it as I plummet to the ground, head first. 
Kain: Oh Raziel, stop being so dramatic
Raziel: Kain told me I was being dramatic, how wrong he was. I watched, whilst on the floor the handle of the doomsday device turning. I got up and ran towards Kain. My hand snatched the Jack in the Box (Cheese edition) and it fell into the fire. Kain grabbed his Soul Reaver, and cut my head off. Terrible agony.....

Raziel cannot be heard now due to the fact he is in the spectral realm
Everyone starts to run as Kain grabbed the soul Reaver
Then he walked out of the room, to where he found Raziel
Everyone listened at the door, all sounds of "ouch!" and "TAKE THAT" and "VAE VICTUS" could be heard. Everyone, including Vorador ran away in terror. After all had left, Raziel and Kain came out, unharmed, laughing.
Raziel: I love your Christmas pranks Kain, I really do
Kain: Same here Raziel. Lets go to the soul and blood tavern
And little did Raziel know, on the Elder Gods and Moebius' Christmas lists, they had on the last line "Kill Kain."